I had the best friends when I was at school, we use to have such fun! But when we all finished our GCSEs some went to College and others went to Sixth Form and so in school (for me in 6th form) our friendship groups changed slightly but not enough to stop spending time outside of school all together. However for some reason I decided that as we got older we kind of drifted apart as we had different interests etc and I had lots of church friends that I enjoyed spending time with. In reality we never actually drifted apart, I think I had decided once we left for uni I would never really see them again so there wasn't much point in making an effort to remain good friends with them, so when they made plans I would often come up with an excuse or something to the point that I think they gave up asking me in the end (which was quite fair enough). (Also that makes me sound as though I just sat at home on my own all the time, that's not true, I just spent way more time with my YSA friends). I think I felt that because they were going out and dressing up etc which is something that I didn't really do, that I wasn't as 'cool' as them and that I didn't quite fit in as well as I had done when we were younger. But in reality they totally respected who I was and that I didn't drink alcohol and probably thought no less of me for not doing those kind of things, but I just let myself think that they thought that because it was easier I guess.
These were some of my best friends at school, it's telling that the most recent photo that I can find is of our year 11 prom. I'm hoping they won't hate me for including it... haha
It's only now that I have started to realise what a sad unnecessary thing that was! It might be because being married and expecting a baby does change the life you're living, with more responsibilities and having more than yourself to think about, that I've realised that in honesty the likelihood of me ever 'reconnecting' with my old friends has gone down heavily, which is actually a really sad thought! Also Ethan still keeps in contact with a lot of his friends from when he was at school (in fact we just had a lovely day with one of his old friends today!) even though he finished school 4 years ago and still has a really good relationship with those friends. Whereas I on the other hand, have only really kept in contact with my best friend that I've basically grown up with and even then I distanced myself from her for a good while too!
I don't really know what the point of this post is, other than maybe hope that some of my old friends might read it and know that I genuinely did value our friendship. It's also made me realise that you don't have to have the exact same interests to be friends, it just brings variety and different view points and thoughts that can enrich friendships. If I could re do my last few years in school I would do it completely differently! But I can't, so maybe from now I'll make more of an effort with the wonderful friends that I have now, particularly as we leave the country for a year :)
I love you! And you are and always be my bestfriend! :) I hope the others see this two xxx
ReplyDeleteI lost touch with a lot of my school friends when I left. They went on to college, etc and I had moved out of home, got a job and then got married. They were out partying and what-not, and I was busy building a home and the two things just didn't mesh very well. I reconnected with them a few years ago, and some became very good friends again, and some I'm loosely in touch with but don't see very often. It was nice to find them and see what they had been up to, but in part I realised that the same reasons that made us lose touch in the first place still existed, and whilst we're friendly, I wouldn't say we're friends as such. People change, life changes and circumstances change, and whilst it's worth making the effort, you also do come to realise that people will pass through your life, not all stay - and that's not necessarily a bad thing or a failing on either party.
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